Noun: the state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations.

While indulging over alcoholic beverages at a bar I whispered to my friend that I was practicing abstinence; like it was some big secret. She replied with a laugh in my face and bluntly answered “not by choice”. Fair. That was some weeks ago now and my situation has not improved. Rather than wallow in my repetitive sorrows of my absent sex life, I’ve chosen to bask in the glory of the positive side.

I overly spoiled myself during the holidays with sugar, alcohol and everything sweet. I hid my bloated tummy under comfy knit sweaters and never felt self conscious about how I looked half naked. I haven’t had to update my sexy undies collection in quite some time as there is no one to show them off to. Winter pedicures have been crossed off my list; no one is partaking in the sharing of my bed except for the pug. I’m able to over sleep on my weekends. I stopped having to ensure that my legs are always shaved. I’ve managed to stay away from the Brazilian wax and its pain. Although I have taken precautionary measures by trimming and not shaving; I will eventually go back to the nice Indian lady.

Side note: I am ending this here as there are really no valid optimistic points. I thought I could convince myself but I failed.

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