11.09.2014

WANT.



Verb: have a desire to posses or do (something); wish for.

 I would like to formally apologize for my past thoughts. I may have been quick to judge the shift in priorities when one enters a relationship. I have been slow to realize that the reality is not that friends become secondary, but rather you want to just share everything with the person you are dating. I believe this happens more frequently with people of an older age. You tend to be more sure of yourself, of what you want and you are less likely to embark into something  if you have doubts. In turn you end up in a situation that makes you extremely happy with an extra ordinary individual.

The ultimate goal is to unite two lives together, so why is it necessary to insist on separating our time? Having the occasional girls or boys night is fine, but I no longer believe it is a requirement for a healthy relationship. Life is busy and free time is sparse, there is no reason why friends and relationships cannot mingle.
I may be biased. Although I can honestly say that even though I am still within the first six months of my relationship, it has not been all sweet like candy. Yet I am most grateful that things have been hard and times have been tough. If everything is always good it is no wonder you constantly want to spend time with someone. When things are hard and you still want to be with that person, that is when you know you are in something that is worth it. It is a scary and wonderful feelings all fused together.
So, yes, I admit that I have this insatiable desire to always be in the presence of this man. What I fear from this is that I may expect too much and perhaps  I will never be satisfied. I always want more... I am slowly coming to the realization that the ideals I have are unrealistic. No man is going to live up to the romantic expectations which have somehow found residence in my head. For some (cruel) reason, males and females were created with such differences that there are needs the opposite sex will never fulfill. In turn we shy away from stating what we really would like, afraid that we will push the other person away if we seem to needy...Or worse, what if they don't want the same?

Oh mon dieu. It is all so complex, especially for a Sunday night.
Merde.

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