3.29.2013

Astrology



Noun: The study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs.

Such a delicate topic; you either believe in it or you don’t. If you dare be the latter I may look at you with disconcerted eyes, you may mistake them for a dirty look, but then again it may just be one.
Therefore, let me come right out and say that I really don’t understand how one cannot believe in astrology. Excuse me while I attempt to play smart, but isn’t astrology scientifically proven? I mean, the stars and stuff, they ARE real. And if you do follow astrology you know that it simply proves itself. I am in no way a fanatic (although I’m sure studying astrology would have been much more successful than studying fashion), but I am a strong advocate of the signs and who is and isn’t compatible.
I have this book. It was a present from my mother for Christmas 2004 (because I got many traits from my mother and she signed and dated the book just like I would); I was twenty. This is probably the age when my interest in astrology peaked, hence the present; and what I highlighted eight years ago is still relevant to this day. ..
“The single Cancer girl looking for love is a strange and subtle creature, who never moves directly or brazenly toward the object of her interest.”
Maybe I should be blaming my singleness on my astrology sign now?!
Okay, back on track. This book has become my go to weapon when I meet someone. It has become a natural instinct when I get home to immediately turn to the appropriate page ‘Cancer woman with ___ man’. I’m sure some people think this is crazy. HOWEVER, I only became obsessed with this ritual after I realized that my book foretold my past relationships. For example, Cancer woman with Aries man (aka: my one and only serious long term relationship); basically the book states that he will come into my life like a fairytale movie. I’m in need and there he is to rescue me and make everything right in my life. This was actually the true story as well. My life was spiraling down and it is safe to say had just crashed when lo and behold this guy appears and insists on picking me up at my house and proceeds to take me to a Halloween party; he also brought my favourite wine. In the end, as stated on page fifty-four, the Aries man does not have enough patience for the Cancer’s emotional energy. Truth. The relationship ended in a yelling, screaming, crying war (me being the one who was going crazy), and he left my house to never come back. ..(Technically we spoke about three months later, but for writing purposes I needed to make it sound more dramatic.)
Let’s look at subject number two: the Gemini man. He was only in my life for about three months, nowhere near a serious relationship, although I did meet his entire family at his house on Christmas day. “The Gemini man has the ability to set off the Cancer woman’s intrigue radar simply by walking into the room.” Reality was that he was a friend of a friend’s and after only the second time of seeing him (from afar) I knew I needed to have him. In the end the Gemini man is incapable of expressing his feelings enough to satisfy the Cancer woman. You can’t just introduce me to your family without a title. I’m not down with that.
Now let’s analyze the most complex relationship of my life to date; one that has never even escalated high enough to be called a relationship, yet has lasted roughly eight years, on and off. The Aquarius man having been born under an Air sign needs to breath and likes his independence all the while creating mayhem leaving a trail of shock waves. Can we be in agreement that this translates into he never wants to settle down? And yet, “Their lovemaking could very well become an extremely titillating pastime.”
I rest my case.
Merde. 

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